The Quote “No Human is Perfect” Applies to Children Too

Verbal abuse occurs more than other forms of abuse between adults and children. In the teaching process, when a child is slow or inactive to learn, most of the teachers or parents fail to read the capacity of the child and provide space to absorb slowly.

Learning begins during the early years of every child. The method, span and the process differs according to the growth, brain capacity and memory power of each child. Researchers state that the teaching methods that a child encounters at home or school during his or her schooling years, is what makes a child develop either a liking or disliking towards learning. However child maltreatment being a global problem, has been recorded in the learning process mostly between children and parents or children and teachers. The WHO states, nearly 3 in 4 children - or 300 million children - aged 2–4 years regularly suffer physical punishment and/or psychological violence at the hands of parents and caregivers and several reports also state children under the age of 18 are treated harshly while learning. The serious consequences of this problem has led affected children physically and mentally and even exposed them to harmful situations.

Few most common reasons for child maltreatment are:

■ Having special needs, crying persistently or having abnormal physical features.

■ Being unwanted, or failing to fulfil the expectations of parents.

■ Having an intellectual disability or neurological disorder

■ Delay or slow to understanding

The reasons that create a risk for child maltreatment from a parent or teacher are:

■ Lack of nurturing the child

■ Having been through child abuse

■ Lacking awareness of child growth

■ Favouriting particularly

■ Personal grudges

■ Mental or neurological disorder

■ Experiencing personal issues

Just as other countries, Sri Lanka too has a record of child abuse cases in the education field. Reliable reports state that within the first two months of 2020, the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) received over 2,500 cases of child abuse and by July 2020 there were 5242 cases recorded. Experts say that abuse cases due to learning difficulties too could have occurred among these cases. Several cases are known to have dealt with violence, abuse, neglect, exploitation and discrimination in the orm of verbal abuse and physical abuse.

Verbal Abuse and Physical Abuse

Verbal abuse occurs more than other forms of abuse between adults and children. In the teaching process, when a child is slow or inactive to learn, most of the teachers or parents fail to read the capacity of the child and provide space to absorb slowly. Comparing a child to another, discouraging, not giving chances to learn in the child’s style can easily make a child dislike being educated. Reports say that a large percentage of children go through a lot of pressure due to the verbal mistreatment by the parent or the teacher while a child is being taught. The results of this start showing up gradually according to the effects it has created in the child’s mind. Studies do say that the healing process of verbal abuse may take longer than recovery from other forms of abuse. The power words have to traumatise a human for a lifetime is harder for any child to handle.

“One of my maths tutors abused me verbally everyday. I used to be good at maths, but because of the fear I had on him I got confused with the subject which made me score lower marks than I did before. He cursed me, scolded me using filth and also assaulted me physically which scared me. I used to cry everyday and got into depression. My parents didn’t understand me either when I said I wanted to quit the classes. After many years only I quit when the torture was too much to bear. Many from my batch had to go through trauma because of the same situation.”

An affected student

“My father was never fully satisfied with my progres chart. Even if I had performed well, he would start comparing my marks with my other classmates’ and start complaining and scolding me for no reason. Due to constant pressure from him, I am a migraine patient now.”

A child affected by the parental pressure

On the other hand, physical abuse cases are outspoken as it occurs in most households. Physical assaultation exposes children to fear and anxiety quickly as this abuse occurs instantly and unexpectedly. Beating / slapping the child, throwing objects at the child, leaving the child to starve are common ways of physical assaltation by parents/ teachers/ caregivers.

“In my school I had a teacher who would always physically assault me for no proper reason. This teacher used to portray me as a good for nothing student in front of my whole class. The embarrassment I went through still remains as a part of myself. ”

An undergraduate’s experience

“Forgetting the pain I suffered whenever my parents and my primary class teachers beat me when I showed no improvement in studies, upsets me to date.”

A school student

Conclusion

The adults think when they warn a child with physical assault, the child would do better and won’t make the mistake again. Yet the fact is that no human is perfect and it is normal for anyone to make mistakes. When a child makes mistakes while learning, the teacher or the parent is supposed to correct them in the most appealing manner which would ideally help them learn better rather than a harsh treatment. Children do get frustrated with such behaviour which leads them to adversary attitudes like being stubborn, arrogant and disobedient. And whose fault is this now? Completely misleading a child by unhealthy treatment and then blaming the child is not going to change the child or the situation. Making the learning process easier and interesting is not impossible as it is in practice among many countries. Therefore understanding that each child is differently unique and treating and teaching them politely will not only create a good bond between the child and the adult but also form a broad thinking and an empathetic future generation.

“Every child is like a sponge. They absorb everything they receive, be it right or wrong. Therefore it is every adult’s responsibility to nurture children in the correct way in order to create a finer future.”

A counsellor under anonymity